Wordless Wednesday

Ahhh, 4 year olds....

Don't you just love to see how their minds work?

On the ride home from the YMCA today, the song "Beautiful Mess" by Diamond Rio came on the radio. Ava asked, "mom, why is he happy he made a mess?" I explained to Ava that sometimes people are happy about things that are messy. She then paused to think, and then said, "but when is a mess beautiful?" I explained that the man singing the song had fallen in love and that it had made is life messy, but he was happy about it. She continued to ask questions and seemed to have a hard time grasping that a mess can be beautiful. I wish I did a better job of explaining this to Ava, because certainly my life is sometimes a beautiful mess.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

Wow.. 5 days until Christmas!
I can hardly believe it. I hope I remember this Christmas for always. Ava is at the perfect age for all of the wonder and magic that Christmas is. She loves looking forward to parties, has the biggest sweet tooth I have ever seen, and can't wait to spend time with family. She counts down the days until Christmas every night before bedtime. She continually asks us if Santa thinks she has been naughty. She reminds us a lot that she thinks that her brother has indeed been naughty. Alex just doesn't quite get it all yet. I know he will love his presents and time with family, but he can't articulate the questions that Ava has. Ava loves to ask about the logistics of it all, such as, "how will Santa get down the chimney if there's a fire?" Ava's Christmas list includes some of the expected: a Dora doll, Barbies, a dollhouse. Bub's list included his all two favorite things: "CHOO CHOO TRAINS AND CARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He truly lives for cars and trains, and is always carrying them around and sleeping with the toys and books that are train and car related. This year Alx wasn't even afraid to sit on Santa's lap (you can reference last year's picture of Alex on Santa's lap if you are so inclined, it's an earlier entry on this blog). When Ava sat on Santa's lap she surprised her father and I by also asking him to bring trains for Alex. We considered this quite selfless. My how my little ones have grown.

Wordless Wednesday

Wow.

Where oh where on Earth have I been, dear blog?
I have been so busy I feel like I am running in all directions.
I don't feel like I am being a good enough mother right now.
I feel like there's never enough time in the day.
I have purpose and lack patience.
I am not cultivating my marriage.
What's wrong, you say, dear blog?
Well, I don't know. It feels like some of the existential issues I learned about during my clinical psych degree. I feel alone sometimes lately and misunderstood. I worry and worry about the people I love being taken from me. My cat and my grandmas are old. Accidents and terminal illness happen. Everything is unpredictable and I am in the middle trying to regain control like my type A self always tries to do. *sigh*. I will try to visit you more often, dear blog. Sometimes it's cathartic just to send something out into the blogosphere.

Run, Mindi, Run.

I ________________ to run.

The answer for the blank space above could just as easily be love as hate.

I both love and hate running. I get a little adrenaline rush while I stretch, put on my running clothes, and trip over Tasha as she lunges at me in excitement to get out the door. I despise the feeling of the first mile. I always feel anxious, short of breath, and out of shape. My calf muscles always protest loudly as I hit the first hill of my 3 mile trek. I am such a creature of habit that I feel like I am cheating on my running route if I deviate from it. I do a lot of self-talk at this point, reminding myself that I have gained mastery over this distance and this speed. I curse the traffic light gods when I am forced to stop at the light, and feel like everyone at the light is staring and wonders why I would run with humongous double sports bra clad boobs bouncing around. When I hit my stride, I feel invincible. I feel like I could actually take on a half marathon someday. I think about how I enjoy having clothing fit looser and less back fat. I think about how I want to be in shape for my children, so that I can enjoy a long life with them. I think about the fact that if I don't run, I will really need to diet hardcore and give up food I enjoy. I think about how I wish I still had a running partner, so we could motivate one another...how I wish that my husband could be my running partner but that 1) he's with our children and 2) he runs too darn fast for me. I am always correcting my posture and trying to strike the ground with the correct part of my foot. I am always monitoring Tasha's speed. There's a sweet spot where neither of us is pulling the other along. When I hit the half way mark I tell myself I can surely manage to complete what I just have. I remind myself that the way back is more of a decline than the inclined way there. I am extremely conscientious of other dogs and worry and one will jump out and attack Tasha. I am sure people recognize me running because of my white fluffy poofball partner. If I start to falter around 3/4 of the way done, I begin to chant in time with my stride. A common thing running through my head is "one foot in front of the other" or "one piece of pizza, nev-er two". Stopping isn't an option unless my shoes are untied. Finishing is bliss and victory. I tell myself I am amazing. I tell myself I am entirely proud of myself. I tell myself, I love to run.

Big Bub

How could I not have spoken about Big Bub on his birthday!??!?! I feel entirely negligent. My Bub is 2 years old now! He is large and in charge. He is sweet and a cuddler. He is quick to laugh and even quicker to squawk when he doesn't get his way. I near "NOOOOO, SISSY!!!!", numerous times in a day! Only occasionally these outbursts include physical contact! You look JUST like your daddy, Big Bub. You are mama's special little *not so little* boy. You color so well, Bub. I know you just love to sit and make beautiful pictures. You also loves cars, trains, and airplanes. Your legs and knees are so bruised because it's always non stop action and fun with you. You are such a superb little brother, and feel lost if sissy isn't around. Your big blue eyes are just like your sister's, and your dad and I marvel all the time at how you got those in the first place! You are my special little sweetie, Big Bub. You mean the world to us, Alley Urlacher.

My Baby is 4?!??!??!

It's unbelievably hard to come to grips with the fact that my baby is turning 4. Oh how we love you so, sweetest Birdie. You are such a creative and imaginative child! You spend most of your free time with a book, hands grasped tightly, with your face full of joy as you expressively tell new stories. You are always asking questions. You are quick to say I love you, and even quicker to give a kiss. You always say that Alex is your best friend, and sometimes he is even your prince. You recently started taking showers and washing independently, and you are so proud of this accomplishment! You like to do most things on your own, and mama likes to help you with most things, because mama is entirely too type A for her own good, and just doesn't want to let go of that glimmer of babyhood left inside you. You are a darn good eater and have a sweet tooth like no other! You are really doing well in tumbling class and mom and dad are proud of you daily. Your cousins mean everything to you and you talk about them often. Ava, I hope that you hold on to your sense of wonder throughout your entire life. I love to hear you weave stories. I love to hear you work to make sense of something. I love your beautiful and shiny hair and big blue eyes. I am not fond of the poking and pinching that is aimed at Alex. I love how freely you give your love. You are my all, Birdie Girl.

Wordless Wednesday

365*5

Tomorrow is my 5th wedding anniversary! The last five years of my life have brought more joy and change than the entire preceding 28 years of my life. All of the joy, the change, the sleepless nights, the anxieties, the excitement, the stinky diapers, and the pain have been shared with my best friend. Jeremy is conscientiousness to my spontaneity, thoughtful when I am selfish, and my rescuer when I need rescuing. In five years we have lived together in two homes, returned to graduate school (again), quit and/or accepted four different jobs, buried a pet, and added wrinkles and pounds. We've lost a lot of sleep. We have more gray hairs and make more money than we did five years ago, but have less money than ever. We've lost two special friends and two grandparents and have traveled fabulous places. Undoubtedly our greatest accomplishment has been giving birth to and raising our two precious children. I can't wait to see what the next five years will bring my best friend and I.

Wordless Wednesday

It's crazy hair day at Vacation Bible School!

PW's Egg in a Hole

Do you LOVE The Pioneer Woman? I do. I love her cookbooks, her photography, and most of all her sense of humor! If you haven't checked her out yet...DO! Right now! (www.thepioneerwoman.com).

Anywho. I also LOVE her recipe for Egg in the Hole. The Pioneer Woman tells us it is a breakfast item that goes by many names. Ava calls it breakfast pizza. Alex calls it yum. I call it heaven.

Ingredients
sliced bread (the heartier the better!)
butter
large eggs
s&p

1. begin with a slice of bread and use a cookie cutter to make a hole in the middle of the slice.
2. heat 2-3 T butter in skillet over med-low heat. Place bread in skillet and allow it to soak up some butter.
3. after 1 minute, crack egg into the hole.
4. Sprinkle with S & P to taste and toss another 1 T of butter into pan if you feel so inclined.
5. with spatula flip bread to the other side and sprinkle with some more S & P. Cook until egg doneness is desired.

p.s. The kids also love it if you toast the bread centers and spread with jelly! YUM!

Photo courtesy of The Pioneer Woman--ours disappeared too fast to be photographed!

You Are Dearly Missed, Sosa Boy

I expect to hear your little toenails on the hardwood floor and feel you underneath my feet as I cook. I miss seeing you sit at the top of the stairs with your paws hanging over, ready to give me the classic "pug head tilt" when I saw you name. Your stinkers are no longer permeating the air around me and your hair doesn't cling to my clothing anymore. I am not used to sleeping through the night, and feel relieved that you are no longer coughing and struggling to breathe. Although I know it was time, there is certainly a void in our hearts and our home with you gone. Rest in peace, Stinkabone. We plan to scatter your ashes around your momma's lava rocks, because you loved them so.

Galesburg Initiative

Sandy and I have survived the Galesburg Initiative! YAY!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Birdie-Girl

Since my favorite thing under the sun to blog about is my dearest children--let me tell you about a conversation we had last night. It started because I heard Ava whimpering in her room, and went to check out what was up. When I entered the room, she appeared afraid of something. Up to now she has expressed very few fears for a child of three, so I was really wondering what was up. I sat Ava down in my lap and began to rock her, like we used to do every night when she was even littler than she is now. She immediately said, "mama, I don't want anyone to take me away". I knew instantly that Ava was referring to a conversation we had earlier in the day, when she became separated from me at JC Penney's. After not being able to find Ava for approximately one minute, I took the time to tell her that "strangers can take you away from mommy if you get lost from her". It was one of those precious moments in parenting when you are hell bent on getting a message across, but realize you have only succeeded in planting a tremendous dose of fear in your dear babe. Of course our little talk was weighing on her mind. I told Ava that no one is going to take her away. She said, "but mama, what if a stranger comes in my room?" I assured her this would not happen, because her daddy wouldn't allow it. She said, "but momma, what if daddy is not at home?" I assured my dearie that I can keep her safe as well. She then very seriously stated, "and no more Scooby-Doo, mama, you should never have put that on, it really scared me!". She then shed a few more tears before saying, "and no more of that Gardenfield either, mom, he scares me too!" She then paused thoughtfully with the most serious of looks on her face and said, "and one more thing, mama! I do really need a horn for my bike. I really do". Isn't she a doll?

What Has the Fast Food World Come To??

Are you kidding me, peeps? This new little gem from KFC higlights all that is wrong with American fast food cuisine. The K.F.C. website says this about its menu's newest item, "this one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce". No matter how good it tastes--it contains half the recommended daily allowance of fat and almost three quarters the recommended daily allowance of sodium for an adult! This isn't something we should run out and buy, this is an atrocity of a monstrosity! This is puke city U.S.A! Somewhere in the world people are laughing at us. Again.

I Kicked Off my Spring Break With WHICH MOVIE?!?!

Dear friends,
Are you looking for a great flick that recently came out on DVD? Are you looking for action, drama, and a fan of watching things get blown to smithereens? Although my husband typically enjoys movies of this sort, he is notoriously bad at choosing ones that can actually be considered decent movies (he once chose that TERRIBLE Godzilla remake). I joke with him about it a lot, but he doesn't consider it as funny as I do. Last night we viewed "Law Abiding Citizen". When I saw that Gerard Butler stars, I thought "what the hey do I have to lose here?" Well friends, brain cells and dignity. This movie's plot drags, is 100% implausible, and is so full of cliches for this genre that I laughed often.

Here's a 'lil synopsis:
We are sucked in emotionally at the beginning of the movie when Gerard Butler's wife is killed and child kidnapped. An up and coming hot shot lawyer (Jamie Foxx) with a very high conviction rate (that he doesn't want to threaten), urges Mr. Butler to take accept a deal, putting the main bad guy out on the street much faster than Mr. Butler is comfy with. Our dear protagonist/antagonist (I think they are going for both here) then goes apeshit and starts killing innocent people associated with the case because he feels that the system has so tragically failed him. Hot shot lawyer is at the center of all of this. Here's the moronic part: we don't learn anything about Mr. Butler that makes us identify with him or even care what he is up to. We don't feel anything for Jamie Foxx's character either, by the way.

Here are the most moronic aspects of this movie:

1. Mr. Butler has people killed and kills people on the outside *while* he is in prison. Of course, the prison he is housed in is dark, wet, and his isolation cell is in the basement. Other inmates throw paper and bang cups on their cell bars. My husband assures me that prisons do not look like this today.

2. In another scene, hot shot lawyer (Jamie Foxx) hops into a helicopter with the warden and a police officer. And this is supposed to take place in Philly?

3. In two other scenes, cars are blown up with hot shot lawyer's confidantes inside. He of course runs towards the flames, and displays grief by going to his knees and asking God "WHY?!??!?!"

4. There's a token torture scene. Why? I dunno, it doesn't work for me.

5. There is an entire background plot about how hot shot lawyer isn't home for his daughter and never attends her cello performances. The viewing audience is intensely pleased (or covering their head with the popcorn bowl), when at the very end of the movie, hot shot lawyer is beaming and clapping in the audience at his daughter's grand cello recital.

And I thought the plot for Dexter was contrived? I will definitely put Dexter back at the top of my Netflix queue.

One Step in Front of the Other

Jeepers Creepers (as Ava would say!)-- I sure have been busy! I am really working to re-find myself, reinvent myself, have more time to myself, and keep my neuroplasticity up. (If you don't know what neuroplasticity is, check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroplasticity). If nothing else, maybe I am staving off Alzheimer's!

So here's what I've been up to!

• I am running again, and I am loving it. I really admire running because it taxes the body so, is a tremendously cerebral exercise, and gives you a sense of one-ness with other runners. (I am always pondering the existential, believe me, peeps). On the down side, I have been suffering from severe shin splints, or medial tibial stress as the brainy types call it. It started as mild, but I kept running and it became something so excruciatingly painful that I could barely walk. I half scooted down the Y steps the last time I ran and wondered if my legs were about to birth a ten pound baby. I wailed in the car on the way home, and it was entirely reminiscent of my wails during childbirthing. A little PTSD I did experience after that episode. Nonetheless, I have now educated myself about the treatment, cause, and preventative measures for avoiding recurrence of said shin splints. I can't wait to get back to running, but I am afraid of the leg labor pains. I am humbled. Soooooo, I tackled and conquered 45 minutes on the elliptical, but felt like a weanie or a sellout. As a side note, I got these cool new running shoes!!
• Not so un-related to working out-- I have been tweaking my diet in attempts to lose weight. I have never been a "big eater" per se, but I definitely enjoy food and good beer. I have been cutting calories, drinking more water, and really watching portions. I have 3 weddings to prepare for this summer, mind you. Not to mention I am competing in a Biggest Loser competition. No, I will not stand on a pedestal and remove my clothing and wear nothing but a sports bra and lycra shorts, but I will tell you I have lost about 8 pounds. It is VERY hard for me to lose weight, and it takes time. I have been losing about 1 lb a week. Sounds lame, but I will take it anyway it comes off!
• As I mentioned previously-- I bought a great camera! I am really enjoying learning about the camera, and then trying out new things I have learned. I am also trying to teach myself the basics of Photoshop. My biggest desire is to take better pictures of my kids, and I think I am already getting somewhere on this goal.
• I have been enjoying the heck out of my Kindle. I love it more than I ever thought possible. I am reading fiction at least 5 days out of 7. Reading fiction 5 days out of 7 = happy Mindi.
• Finally, I am spending precious spare time reflecting on the importance of my children and my husband in my life. When Ava goes up to bed, she hollers at least two times that she has to go potty (even though she has already gone). She always manages to tinkle just a tiny bit. I am always a little annoyed when I trudge upstairs, just having started the dishes or perusing the internet for that great yellow leather bag that alludes me. Anywho, when she runs to the potty, she always does this little skip with a smile on her face. It reminds me that life isn't all that serious, that there's fun in mundane moments, and most of all, it reminds me that she's one of two sunshines of my life. I continue to thwart all of Alex's plans to grow up, since he is invariably my last baby. I know that Jeremy is a little down about being laid off, and I want to spend more time helping him feel appreciated for all he does to contribute to his household and nurture us.
  

Good Night, blog. Here are a few pics with my new camera!

Why Republicans should support health care reform - chicagotribune.com

Why Republicans should support health care reform - chicagotribune.com

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Two Little Turkeys

I am a Rebel!!

I got my new camera today--a Canon Rebel XS! I can't wait to get started shooting photos of all that inspires me!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Oh my the little miss has been saying some funny and so very endearing things.
On the funny side--today I spelled the word "sexy" for Jer after looking at a picture. I asked him, 'do you think this picture looks a little too s-e-x-y?" Ava thought I was talking to her and replied, "how would I know, I don't know that word". On the endearing side, she later told me that I am the very best, and she loves me the most. She then jumped into my lap and wrapped her pretty little arms around me. She's the best snuggler ever. As you can see from the pic, she has started taking a tumbling class. I think she enjoys dressing up more than she enjoys rolling around on mats. She does give a lot of hugs and kisses to her fellow tumblers.

My little pork chop continues to be as active as her. He throws a ball like a pro, and loves to jump and dance. He has a weakness for his binky, his sippy of milk, stickers, bracelets, and Dora cartoons. He uses a lot of nonsensical terms interchangeably (beeeaaarrr!), but we always manage to know just what he wants. I'm sad that he is growing up so quickly. Don't you love his new little big man hair cut?