Friday, April 2, 2010

I Kicked Off my Spring Break With WHICH MOVIE?!?!

Dear friends,
Are you looking for a great flick that recently came out on DVD? Are you looking for action, drama, and a fan of watching things get blown to smithereens? Although my husband typically enjoys movies of this sort, he is notoriously bad at choosing ones that can actually be considered decent movies (he once chose that TERRIBLE Godzilla remake). I joke with him about it a lot, but he doesn't consider it as funny as I do. Last night we viewed "Law Abiding Citizen". When I saw that Gerard Butler stars, I thought "what the hey do I have to lose here?" Well friends, brain cells and dignity. This movie's plot drags, is 100% implausible, and is so full of cliches for this genre that I laughed often.

Here's a 'lil synopsis:
We are sucked in emotionally at the beginning of the movie when Gerard Butler's wife is killed and child kidnapped. An up and coming hot shot lawyer (Jamie Foxx) with a very high conviction rate (that he doesn't want to threaten), urges Mr. Butler to take accept a deal, putting the main bad guy out on the street much faster than Mr. Butler is comfy with. Our dear protagonist/antagonist (I think they are going for both here) then goes apeshit and starts killing innocent people associated with the case because he feels that the system has so tragically failed him. Hot shot lawyer is at the center of all of this. Here's the moronic part: we don't learn anything about Mr. Butler that makes us identify with him or even care what he is up to. We don't feel anything for Jamie Foxx's character either, by the way.

Here are the most moronic aspects of this movie:

1. Mr. Butler has people killed and kills people on the outside *while* he is in prison. Of course, the prison he is housed in is dark, wet, and his isolation cell is in the basement. Other inmates throw paper and bang cups on their cell bars. My husband assures me that prisons do not look like this today.

2. In another scene, hot shot lawyer (Jamie Foxx) hops into a helicopter with the warden and a police officer. And this is supposed to take place in Philly?

3. In two other scenes, cars are blown up with hot shot lawyer's confidantes inside. He of course runs towards the flames, and displays grief by going to his knees and asking God "WHY?!??!?!"

4. There's a token torture scene. Why? I dunno, it doesn't work for me.

5. There is an entire background plot about how hot shot lawyer isn't home for his daughter and never attends her cello performances. The viewing audience is intensely pleased (or covering their head with the popcorn bowl), when at the very end of the movie, hot shot lawyer is beaming and clapping in the audience at his daughter's grand cello recital.

And I thought the plot for Dexter was contrived? I will definitely put Dexter back at the top of my Netflix queue.

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