Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Run, Mindi, Run.

I ________________ to run.

The answer for the blank space above could just as easily be love as hate.

I both love and hate running. I get a little adrenaline rush while I stretch, put on my running clothes, and trip over Tasha as she lunges at me in excitement to get out the door. I despise the feeling of the first mile. I always feel anxious, short of breath, and out of shape. My calf muscles always protest loudly as I hit the first hill of my 3 mile trek. I am such a creature of habit that I feel like I am cheating on my running route if I deviate from it. I do a lot of self-talk at this point, reminding myself that I have gained mastery over this distance and this speed. I curse the traffic light gods when I am forced to stop at the light, and feel like everyone at the light is staring and wonders why I would run with humongous double sports bra clad boobs bouncing around. When I hit my stride, I feel invincible. I feel like I could actually take on a half marathon someday. I think about how I enjoy having clothing fit looser and less back fat. I think about how I want to be in shape for my children, so that I can enjoy a long life with them. I think about the fact that if I don't run, I will really need to diet hardcore and give up food I enjoy. I think about how I wish I still had a running partner, so we could motivate one another...how I wish that my husband could be my running partner but that 1) he's with our children and 2) he runs too darn fast for me. I am always correcting my posture and trying to strike the ground with the correct part of my foot. I am always monitoring Tasha's speed. There's a sweet spot where neither of us is pulling the other along. When I hit the half way mark I tell myself I can surely manage to complete what I just have. I remind myself that the way back is more of a decline than the inclined way there. I am extremely conscientious of other dogs and worry and one will jump out and attack Tasha. I am sure people recognize me running because of my white fluffy poofball partner. If I start to falter around 3/4 of the way done, I begin to chant in time with my stride. A common thing running through my head is "one foot in front of the other" or "one piece of pizza, nev-er two". Stopping isn't an option unless my shoes are untied. Finishing is bliss and victory. I tell myself I am amazing. I tell myself I am entirely proud of myself. I tell myself, I love to run.



Thursday, September 9, 2010

Big Bub



How could I not have spoken about Big Bub on his birthday!??!?! I feel entirely negligent. My Bub is 2 years old now! He is large and in charge. He is sweet and a cuddler. He is quick to laugh and even quicker to squawk when he doesn't get his way. I near "NOOOOO, SISSY!!!!", numerous times in a day! Only occasionally these outbursts include physical contact! You look JUST like your daddy, Big Bub. You are mama's special little *not so little* boy. You color so well, Bub. I know you just love to sit and make beautiful pictures. You also loves cars, trains, and airplanes. Your legs and knees are so bruised because it's always non stop action and fun with you. You are such a superb little brother, and feel lost if sissy isn't around. Your big blue eyes are just like your sister's, and your dad and I marvel all the time at how you got those in the first place! You are my special little sweetie, Big Bub. You mean the world to us, Alley Urlacher.







My Baby is 4?!??!??!



It's unbelievably hard to come to grips with the fact that my baby is turning 4. Oh how we love you so, sweetest Birdie. You are such a creative and imaginative child! You spend most of your free time with a book, hands grasped tightly, with your face full of joy as you expressively tell new stories. You are always asking questions. You are quick to say I love you, and even quicker to give a kiss. You always say that Alex is your best friend, and sometimes he is even your prince. You recently started taking showers and washing independently, and you are so proud of this accomplishment! You like to do most things on your own, and mama likes to help you with most things, because mama is entirely too type A for her own good, and just doesn't want to let go of that glimmer of babyhood left inside you. You are a darn good eater and have a sweet tooth like no other! You are really doing well in tumbling class and mom and dad are proud of you daily. Your cousins mean everything to you and you talk about them often. Ava, I hope that you hold on to your sense of wonder throughout your entire life. I love to hear you weave stories. I love to hear you work to make sense of something. I love your beautiful and shiny hair and big blue eyes. I am not fond of the poking and pinching that is aimed at Alex. I love how freely you give your love. You are my all, Birdie Girl.